A new independent research study has found substantial proof that no one is having more fun than us. The research study that consisted of over nine hundred and eleven text messages and thousands of social media comments shows a direct correlation between happiness levels and being a Bear.
The ground breaking research irrefutably proves that crushing really is the way to go. But what about spite and envy? Turns out, they do nothing beneficial for you. Jealousy, resentment and ankle biting? Again they do nothing beneficial for you. The study even proves conclusively that these things tend to negatively impact your life and overall well being.
“It’s True, No One is Having More Fun Than Us.”
An unauthorized spokesperson FOR THE STUDY
The study, a complex analysis of those who are Bears and those who are not, as well as those that like Bears and those who do not, shows an obvious distinction between people’s happiness levels. The study also shows that those people that don’t like “The Bears” may even develop a condition where they can manifest false happiness by trying to make Bears unhappy. The experts have named this condition “Toesticular Gammatosis”.
Symptoms of Toesticular Gammatosis include:
- Decreased Vitamin D levels (due to spending so many hours in a basement alone, staring at a computer)
- Creating multiple sock accounts on Dlive and Instagram to troll The Bears
- Frequenting Subreddits
- Verbal outbursts of phrases like ‘How dare you?!’ and ‘Must be nice!’
The experts also note that if left untreated, Toesticular Gammatosis can develop into full blown Soyabetes.
The study was resolved with a variety of experiments that included a double non-blind crushing group and a gravy deficient control group. When compared to the control group, the efforts found that Bears experience on average 2 LPM (Laughs Per Minute) throughout the day, while the gravy deficient control group only experienced an average of 0.033 LPM. This may be a tough wake up call for non Bears out there.
This new research study has shown greater demand in the wider populous to promote non stop crushing! That is where we at The Beartaria Times come in! We literally have a media category for Just Crushing!
Are you suffering from Toesticular Gammatosis?
Have you been feeling unhappy?
Well, we cannot promise you happiness, but we can share what is a part of our happiness, what keeps us busy, motivated and crushing! So join us for the ride! Have a laugh and let’s build the world we want! No one is having more fun than us!
