Just Crushing
The Beartaria Times Projections Show Possible Printer Purchase Going Into Q2
Van Allen Bear reports
It’s been a long time coming for The Beartaria Times to start competing with the billion dollar companies people have grown to be annoyed by. Rumors of The Beartaria Times’ future strategic investment plans have spread rapidly across the thriving startup culture of North Idaho.
Until now, rumors were unsubstantiated. But, due to my close proximity and vast industry connections, I have been able to verify the elaborate rumors that has “crushers” gaining more interest in The Beartaria Times.
I have confirmed via multiple text messages that The Beartaria Times will indeed make a strategic purchase for a new ink dispensing compositor, commonly known as a printer. This is going to ‘up’ the company value by a percentage that can only be speculated at this time.
Speculators and analysts have gathered in high controversy over the logistics of the acquisition and future productivity projections.
“The Beartaria Times could get a new printer or one from craigslist that would be tried and true”
Gary, not Terry
Gary, not Terry, responded to a request for comment and he makes some excellent points. He also added, “They may not want to risk being asked to pay $16 for a warranty, such a question poses a potential work-stop creating congestion in the administrative duties of the policy-making department.”
“Gary is a smart guy… when he talks, people listen, and warranty propositions do pose an increase in substantial thought processes,” inside sources say.
“We originally wanted everything etched in stone, but with the global shortage of chisels we began using scribes.”
Spokesperson for the beartaria Times
My sources at The Beartaria Times went on to say that they can no longer continue to use the scribes, “They have been on strike for weeks because Gary recommended it, people really need to stop listening to Gary.”
The Spokesperson continued to reveal new developments in the strategic printer acquisition, “A reconnaissance officer was sent to a local supplier to gather intel on pricing possibilities and specs. Ammunition for the printer may soon be bottlenecked in the economic sector, due to the price hike of printer primers. The Beartarian Times R&D department has discussed the possibility of creating printer ammunition in-house, although this opens the doors for many new challenges for us.”
The spokesperson is not revealing any more information at this time. A top consultant for The Beartaria Times has reportedly said, “Warranties are really not a bad idea, its better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.”
So, is this even a big deal? Is this something to watch going into Q2? Only time will tell how this will play out in the imminent future.
It hasn’t yet been disclosed that if a new purchase was in play which enterprise would land the contract. Multiple corporations are in tight competition. As of this time, not a single representative has reached out to The Beartaria Times. I am sure The Beartaria Times would be open to exclusive offers at this time if sales departments were on the cutting-edge of media culture, for they would assuredly be aware of this breaking news.
It would also be highly recommended for printer enterprises to make a generous contribution to The Beartaria Times, that would make them look really cool with ‘The Bears.’ This could also give The Beartaria Times the opportunity to do a one-off box opening video that could gain unprecedented levels of exposure and cultural presence to a trendy printer manufacturer. For those who are reading, it could be yours.
I will do my best to report on updates as this story develops.
Yours on the Trail,
Van Allen Bear
For Printer companies, please use info@beartariatimes.com
Just Crushing
No One Can Complain About “The Media” Any More: We’re Not Sorry.
For as long as most of us can remember, complaints about “the media” have been as routine as morning coffee.
For as long as most of us can remember, complaints about “the media” have been as routine as morning coffee. “The media is biased.” “The media lies.” “The media promotes propaganda.” But we need to have an honest conversation here: what is “the media,” anyway? The answer is straightforward: “the media” is whoever you choose to grant that title to. If you still see the media as a monolithic, untrustworthy institution, it’s time to rethink what that term means.
The truth is, the days of complaining about “the media” are over. If you’re still dissatisfied with what’s out there, it’s only because you’re settling for “their media” and it has become “your media”.
Our Media is Different
At Beartaria Times, we are more than an alternative—we’re the antithesis of what people typically dislike about “the media” they complain about. We’re free from propaganda, vulgarity, and degeneracy. We steer clear of agendas meant to divide or manipulate; instead, we uplift and encourage, focusing on real stories, real experiences, and the values that strengthen us. In other words, we bring you media without the strings, without the hidden motivations, and without the noise.
Our media isn’t perfect, but it’s authentic, honest, and growing. And it’s here for everyone in the community who wants a voice that reflects who they are and what they care about. When you read Beartaria Times, you’re not just consuming “news”—you’re tapping into a shared space that values truth, wisdom, and the incredible things our community accomplishes every day.
You Can Be the Media, Too
And here’s where things get even better: Beartaria Times isn’t just something you consume—it’s something you can contribute to. We’ve opened the door for guest articles and community stories because we believe that real news is what happens within the lives of real people. Got a new business venture? Share it with us. Learned something valuable? Tell us about it. Did your community just pull together to accomplish something remarkable? That’s newsworthy.
This isn’t just our media; it’s your media. It’s a platform built for you to share, celebrate, and connect. So if you’re tired of “their media,” you don’t have to put up with it anymore. Start supporting, reading, and sharing your own. Join us in shaping a media that serves our highest ideals rather than simply criticizing what’s wrong elsewhere.
Correcting the Conversation
From now on, if you hear someone say, “The media is terrible,” it might be worth pointing out: “Maybe your media is terrible. My media is awesome.” Because when you’re part of a community dedicated to truth, integrity, and shared values, you’re part of something that can’t be dismissed or trivialized.
The Beartaria Times is proud to be the media that serves you well. The days of helplessly complaining are over. Welcome to the media revolution, where “the media” is finally what you make of it.
If you are interested in submitting an article for BeartariaTimes.com as a guest writer please email Editor@BeartariaTimes.com.
Join our community app today to meet old friends for the first time and have a community of over 15,000+ people to share your journey with!
Keep striving, keep growing, and never stop building your legendary life!
Just Crushing
Beartaria Ozark Campground Releases Stunning 2024 Campaign Video
The Beartaria Ozark Campground has just released a stunning campaign video for 2024, showcasing the breathtaking beauty and incredible accomplishments that have grown out of the Missouri property. For those who haven’t yet experienced it, this video is an inspiring introduction to the Ozark Campground’s beauty, community spirit, and unmatched potential. The new campaign video that shows the beautiful property and festival is a call to anyone who wants to be part of a legacy that’s been three years in the making.
Watch on Instagram:
From its inception, Beartaria Ozark Campground has been more than a scenic destination. Over the last three years, it’s become a landmark of unity and a place where people can reconnect with nature, celebrate traditional values, and create lasting memories. Through the combined efforts of the community and generous donors, Beartaria has transformed raw land into a lively hub, hosting multiple festivals, community gatherings, and skill-sharing events. Each year, the site expands and flourishes, with new value to members.
The Missouri property itself is a gem of natural beauty. Surrounded by rolling hills, forests, and the unmistakable serenity of the Ozarks. The video showcases lush greenery, wide-open skies, and stunning landscapes—highlighting the ideal environment it provides for everything from quiet reflection to lively festivities. It’s a setting that invites people to unplug from daily routines and tap into a deeper connection with the land and with each other.
As the 2024 campaign gains momentum, Beartaria is calling on those who share the vision to consider donating. Donations make it possible for Beartaria to keep expanding and to add features that benefit all who come to experience this special place. Contributing to Beartaria is more than just a donation; it’s a chance to become part of something truly meaningful. This project thrives on the community’s support, and each donation helps ensure that future generations have access to a space that fosters resilience, freedom, and joy.
So, whether you’ve been with Beartaria from the start or are just now discovering what it has to offer, the 2024 campaign video is an invitation. Let’s build Beartaria together—come join the journey.
Sincerely,
The Beartaria Times
Just Crushing
Comedian Owen Benjamin Disrupts The Comedy Scene
Congratulations to Owen Benjamin and the Unbearables Media Team for the Launch of “Must Be Nice”!
We are thrilled to announce the launch of “Must Be Nice”, the latest comedy special from Owen Benjamin, filmed during the Beartaria Times National Festival and now available for all to enjoy! This event marks a significant accomplishment, not only for Owen but for the entire community that has stood by him.
Owen has faced intense challenges over the years. His refusal to conform to the prevailing entertainment narratives led to numerous cancellations. Online platforms removed him, and live theaters refused to host him simply because of the kind of comedy he performs—honest, raw, and rooted in truth. But instead of shrinking back, Owen doubled down and his audience stood up.
You can’t cancel comedy, as for those that try, they are not just rejecting a comedian from performing, but denying an audience from seeing who they wish.
The cancellation attempts were met by Owen and his audience with the understanding that other peoples platforms and venues are not theirs, which led to the escalation without victim consciousness to build independent platforms and venues.
The community didn’t just offer moral support; they opened up their properties for Owen to perform live, laying the groundwork for something far greater than anyone anticipated. The generosity and unity of his audience led to the funding and development of land specifically for community events and live shows—a place where we can gather, laugh, and celebrate the values we hold dear.
The “Must Be Nice” comedy special represents the culmination of these efforts, demonstrating what can be achieved when a group of like-minded people come together with a vision. The production of this special was taken to a whole new level. With a larger team, high-quality camera rentals, a more advanced sound system, and significant equipment donations—including a massive contribution from Joe Gagan—the special reflects the growth and professionalism of Unbearables Media.
The excitement surrounding “Must Be Nice” is electric. It’s more than just another comedy special—it’s a victory for free expression, for our community, and for the spirit of independence that defines us. The launch on October 11th, marks the beginning of a new era for Owen Benjamin and Unbearables Media, setting a new standard in comedy production and community-driven entertainment.
Thank you to everyone who supported this journey, and congratulations to Owen and the entire Unbearables Media team. We can’t wait to see what the future holds as we continue to build and enjoy a world where we can laugh freely and share what matters most.
Get ready to laugh, Beartarians, because Must Be Nice is here!
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