A Sleuth-Up in Upstate New York
BY 12GAUGE BEAR
Perhaps no greater bellwether exists in America than the much groaned about state of New York. Despite the serpentine aspirations of the “Big Apple” there are many lands and many people that have little wish to be associated with the day-to-day machinations of the stereotypical ‘downstate lifestyle.’
The Empire State has always been a fitting moniker. When a city-state measuring only 468 square miles holds dominion over a region of 54,555 square miles what else might it be called? For those counting that’s not even 1% of the area of the state ruling over the rest and even more if you count the regions in New Jersey and New England that are dependent colonies of the regional superpower. Sounds like a familiar, more national, situation does it not?
The Great Escape
Though we live in a modern-day penal colony in the backwater of the coastal powers we nonetheless receive ample sunshine to bloom and grow. And that is just what a group of us ‘incarcerated’ Bears have been up to in this eastern frontier of the present and future Beartaria.
We rubbed our paws together, grabbled up our picnic baskets, conspired with our tribe, and enacted a tricky scheme to have our first ever Upstate NY sleuth up, in true New Yorker fashion. Say nothing else good for the state and how it is run but we sure do have some very nice State Parks. We gathered in the Finger Lakes, wine country, the equal or better than that of southern France. We convened along the lake shore on a day that could not have been more perfect for a late September afternoon during a fresh Indian Summer.
We packed up goodies and the usual picnic fare. Burgers from a steer that Easy E Bear had the pleasure of knowing, whose name was not Gary (although Gary is next). I prepared pasta salad in the manner I inherited from the mother of my life. The same also was contributed by Fire Marshal Bear, who forgot he was supposed to bring a garden salad and thus encroached upon my designated vittles. Big Igloo Bear brought some chili and Bavarde Bear packed a tasty apple pie for afters.
Accompanying all this were various ciders and lemonades that served as the cure for our parched lips that day. And we needed them dearly, for we neglected much of our victuals for the sake of heartfelt and relieving conversation.
Truly much food was leftover because we were all abuzz with delight finally having the chance to put face to name, and word to ear in a manner that we oft are not lavished with. The opportunity to speak freely in good company is a medicine not often found in our realm. I reckon it safe to say we smuggled out a mother-load of that edifying contraband that day.
Dragon Bear brought his lovely family and the kids got to work immediately crushing it on the nearby playground along with Fire Marshal Bear’s adorable and well-mannered young daughter. Bavarde Bear had in tow her bear adjacent (an NRA hatted father) who was by all accounts a based boomer, who ladled the day away talking gun and computer gravy with Big Igloo Bear and his partner from Buffalo. Bavarde Bear also lived up to her bear name (Bavarde is French for “Chatty” if I’m not mistaken). She engaged in much smiling conversation with us all when she wasn’t helping the kids pick the nicest crayon colors for their coloring book endeavors.
Poppin Fresh Bear made the trek from out Syracuse’s way and shared with me his excitement at purchasing his first shotgun, something I can of course appreciate greatly if you notice my nom d’bear. We also shared some welding experiences and maybe someday soon he can help me step up my non-existent fishing game. Bearicua joined us from Owego down in the foothills of the Southern Tier. He relayed to us some Army stories and the tale of how his family has been stuck trying to get back into the mainland from Puerto Rico because of Corona-Chan.
If not for the young ones in tow whose bedtime was nearing and the Great Electric Circle in the sky (the object of Red Pill Rooster’s obsession) hastening to make it beyond the horizon, we no doubt would have all stayed out much later. Such was the fun that no one else was blessed with having more of than us that evening. And so we ended the evening and packed it up. Already there are plans to have another Sleuth Up. The next shall be elsewhere in this big state of ours in order to include some bears who are in the solitary confinement wing of the state called New York City.
Despite the “leadership” of our state, it is a beautiful country. From lakes to mountains, from vineyards to dairies, we really have it all. For my part, this land is worth sticking it out for. My area used to be called the “Burned Over District” (because it was so engulfed by religious revival after religious revival) that it was all but ashes as far as converting new believers was concerned. In the future it may be “burned over” for other reasons, or maybe even the same flames of yesteryear stand a chance of reigniting in newfound fervent faith. Either way we plan on being the daisies that will be first to pop out of the embers. Onward, friends, to the place which we already belong. Onward to Beartaria.
Blessings and Smiles,
12ga Bear – Lou
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