Tighten the Chinstrap on Your Party Hat

LaBEARday In The Rockies

Driving through the (mostly) unburnt forest of central Colorado, discussing whether or not Yak milk would make a good Latte, the truck was alight with laughter and music. This was to be a grand weekend, the best LaBEARday yet. The truck-bed was full of coolers stocked with ice, various marinated meats, cheeses, and cool beverages, which to be sure would add to the vehicle’s ability to grip the winding country roads making our way up, up the mountain. 

Our Sleuth had rented a grand lodge on a hillside overlooking a sparsely populated ski town on the edge of Lake Granby. In the distance towards the west, it looked as if the top of a volcano had blown off the top of a mountain.  Smoke billowed from the top as we pulled up to the cabin. However, not a doubt or fear entered our mind as we knew the smoke would not dampen our weekend of canoeing, hiking, and meals around a large table. 


“Trust the Pan”

The idea for this weekend is credited, by all accounts, to the lady bears in our group. Spicy Sar Bear, Sarah Bear, Potters Garden Bear, and Zezzie Bear coordinated the lodging, and planned the meals. The men pitched in picking up the food, drinks, and accompanying necessities at various grocery stores. Some of the bears brought amazing vegetables from their gardens, and BearNaked Ben even made items crafted from braided 550 Paracord. The teamwork in putting this together was almost as epic as when Louis met Clark. We were a few short as not everyone in our crew was able to make it to this outing but I just want you to know that in your honor, I and everyone else ate an extra serving of Sarah Bear’s amazing “Trust the Pan” lasagna.

Upon arriving at the BearBNB, my daughter went to work cooking up a triple batch of sourdough pretzel bites which she had prepared earlier that morning. As she set the table, the Top Gun soundtrack blared from the overhead speakers. Claws were cracked open, and many hugs went around as everyone began to arrive.  Cheers were cheered, and at over 8,200 ft above sea level I dare say our high fives were much higher than any other ‘fives’ on the continent that day. 

Later on while seated around the fire, RiffinBear broke out the guitar and proceeded to throw pleasing sound grenades at our ear holes with some well known guitar riffs. The guitar is fast becoming a mainstay at many an Unbearables gathering. I too partook in the melodious festivity and tried my hand at the Indian Wood Flute while Blonde Genius Bear soothed us with the melodic Hand Pan.

‘Twas to be a full moon that evening, and not an owl was in sight. Not even a middle aged bulldog whose bark, worse than his bite”

More than half of all bear meetups have taken place on a full moon (I’m not verifying that claim) or “La Luna” as our Osos Españos prefer to say. It is rumored that this is due to the higher intelligence and resourcefulness common in our community. As you’re well aware, a full moon ads 50 lumens of ambient outdoor lighting which reduces the number of tiki torches needed to have an optimum book burning experience or an evening round of backyard golf. But I digress.

“Gravy was ladled, logos flowed like wine, and strong bonds were forged.”

By the end of the first evening together, one of our group had free climbed a ski lift (no doubt in search of honey or a bramble of blackberries), and my daughter and I had demonstrated on the gas stove how a boiling soda can of water can crush itself when thrown into an ice bath. Gravy was ladled, logos flowed like wine, and strong bonds were forged. So it goes on a typical weekend for the bears, literally sleuthing and crushing.

Besides canoeing and hiking to a waterfall, we hadn’t felt the need to schedule too many events. I of course had with me throwing knives, rope for knot tying classes, and a belt sander we could fix together if we got bored. None of these items got much attention however, because time flew as we just sat around the fireplace talking and laughing until the wee hours of the night.

The next day after a hearty breakfast and being spoiled with a goat milk latte prepared by Blonde Genius Bear, we were fully refreshed and looking forward to a hike in the cool mountain air. Tartan Bear had taken the time to reserve a couple canoes and kayaks. That was a great idea. And Twelth Hour Bear suggested we hike to a spring fed waterfall nearby. To be out of the city together with likeminded legends was well needed by all. I’d heard more than once that weekend, how many of us couldn’t imagine what they’d do with their time without a blessed group of loving individuals such as ours. I know many of you also feel the same way, and for those that haven’t experienced it yet, there couldn’t be a better time than now.

This is how it starts, the building of a strong nation. If you’re a crusher, if you’d like to build Bearships and design castles, Beartaria welcomes all crushers. Or even if you just want to grow the crops and milk the goats that feed the builders and the rock levitators, it’s time. It’s time to tighten down the chin strap on your party hat and pull on your work boots. So if you haven’t already, sign up at bearvibe.com, thegreatbeartrail.com, bearsaloon.com . From there, you can check out the Bear Maps and begin talking to others in your area.

Onward friends.

If you have any stories, great or small you’d like to share, we’d love to hear them! Email them to events@beartariatimes.com and make sure to let us know if there are going to be any future events you’d like to promote!

Dedicated to the rocky mountain unbearables. Thank you for embracing me and being a blessing to my family with your kindness, love, and cheer.
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