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The Beartaria Times Projections Show Possible Printer Purchase Going Into Q2

Van Allen Bear reports

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It’s been a long time coming for The Beartaria Times to start competing with the billion dollar companies people have grown to be annoyed by. Rumors of The Beartaria Times’ future strategic investment plans have spread rapidly across the thriving startup culture of North Idaho.

Until now, rumors were unsubstantiated. But, due to my close proximity and vast industry connections, I have been able to verify the elaborate rumors that has “crushers” gaining more interest in The Beartaria Times.

I have confirmed via multiple text messages that The Beartaria Times will indeed make a strategic purchase for a new ink dispensing compositor, commonly known as a printer. This is going to ‘up’ the company value by a percentage that can only be speculated at this time.

Speculators and analysts have gathered in high controversy over the logistics of the acquisition and future productivity projections.

“The Beartaria Times could get a new printer or one from craigslist that would be tried and true”

Gary, not Terry


Gary, not Terry, responded to a request for comment and he makes some excellent points. He also added, “They may not want to risk being asked to pay $16 for a warranty, such a question poses a potential work-stop creating congestion in the administrative duties of the policy-making department.”

“Gary is a smart guy… when he talks, people listen, and warranty propositions do pose an increase in substantial thought processes,” inside sources say.

“We originally wanted everything etched in stone, but with the global shortage of chisels we began using scribes.”

Spokesperson for the beartaria Times

My sources at The Beartaria Times went on to say that they can no longer continue to use the scribes, “They have been on strike for weeks because Gary recommended it, people really need to stop listening to Gary.”

The Spokesperson continued to reveal new developments in the strategic printer acquisition, “A reconnaissance officer was sent to a local supplier to gather intel on pricing possibilities and specs. Ammunition for the printer may soon be bottlenecked in the economic sector, due to the price hike of printer primers. The Beartarian Times R&D department has discussed the possibility of creating printer ammunition in-house, although this opens the doors for many new challenges for us.”

The spokesperson is not revealing any more information at this time. A top consultant for The Beartaria Times has reportedly said, “Warranties are really not a bad idea, its better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.”

So, is this even a big deal? Is this something to watch going into Q2? Only time will tell how this will play out in the imminent future.
It hasn’t yet been disclosed that if a new purchase was in play which enterprise would land the contract. Multiple corporations are in tight competition. As of this time, not a single representative has reached out to The Beartaria Times. I am sure The Beartaria Times would be open to exclusive offers at this time if sales departments were on the cutting-edge of media culture, for they would assuredly be aware of this breaking news.

It would also be highly recommended for printer enterprises to make a generous contribution to The Beartaria Times, that would make them look really cool with ‘The Bears.’ This could also give The Beartaria Times the opportunity to do a one-off box opening video that could gain unprecedented levels of exposure and cultural presence to a trendy printer manufacturer. For those who are reading, it could be yours.

I will do my best to report on updates as this story develops.

Yours on the Trail,

Van Allen Bear

For Printer companies, please use info@beartariatimes.com

Events

The Béara Clann – Irish Bears July Camp Trip

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Our Story Begins

The following is an account of twenty-three legends that assembled at a campground in the Beara Peninsula of County Kerry, Ireland, in the first weekend of July 2021.  This is the story of the first Béara Clann camp trip.

Our story begins on Thursday, the first of July.  Kingdom Bear and his wife, Kerry Moma Bear, arrived at the campground to claim our corner of the camp.  Kingdom Bear, an avid camper, is also a veteran of the printing industry.  He brought with him a few surprises he’d made for the group, including a Béara Clann banner and flag.  With banner and flag in place, Kingdom Bear was ready to welcome the other members they arrived.

 

Béara Clann Assemble

Friday morning, members of the Béara Clann, the Irish Unbearables, began their journey from all corners of Ireland to the campground in County Kerry.  By the afternoon, most of the group had made their appearance.

Upon arriving, the Clansfolk were warmly greeted by the Béara banner and flag marking our little settlement.  There, we found a fire pit surrounded by tents on all sides.  Next to that, a small building for shelter from rain.

Kingdom Bear and Óbéara Bear welcomed the Friday arrivals with smiles and open arms.  Everyone joined in to help each other build their tents.  After setting up and a quick trip to a nearby village to stock up on food and supplies, everyone was settled in for the evening.

It was like old friends having a reunion, though this was the first time many of us were meeting in the real physical world that exists beyond the borders of the digital realm.  Handshakes, hugs, smiles and stories being shared were in abundance.

It was time to build a fire before nightfall.  A few bears spotted a huge broken tree limb and with teamwork, removed it from the tree with bare hands.  Then they began to break it down to smaller pieces using various saws and axes.  Everyone participated in a group effort.  As one got tired, another bear stepped up and continued the sawing.  This was also a great opportunity to teach the younger generation how to chop wood.  The Paddy Glassman Bear instructed Green Bear’s sons, Strummer Bear and Pickle Bear, how to chop up some firewood.

The positive vibes continued into the evening hours, as members gathered round the fire to tell stories, crack jokes and share their various interesting theories about this realm we call Earth.

 

The Fellowship of the Clann

Saturday morning saw the arrival of several more members, completing our gathering of these Irish Beartarians.

That afternoon, several members embarked on a journey to hike to a hilltop where an ancient stone circle stands.  The group admired the elevated view while contemplating what the ancient people of this land had known to construct such a site.  After visiting this ancient place, some of the braver ones took a dip in the chilly waters of a nearby lake.

Once everyone was back at camp, the Béara Clann’s Minister of Enthusiasm, Brayvy Bear, presented each of the children in the group with a gift bag.  The amazing Kingdom Bear and Kerry Moma Bear put together these lovely gift bags that included things like crayons, coloring book, bubbles and toys.  The Béara Clann children were most pleased.

It was steadily raining that evening, so we all gathered under that nearby shelter for a dinnertime BBQ.  Spirits were high as we shared stories and crafted jokes.  There was an abundance of good cheer.

After dinner, Brayvy Bear presented all of the adults with a souvenir Béara Clann mug that he and Kingdom Bear had made for the group members.  To mark the occasion, Brayvy Bear also presented to the group a bottle of locally crafted Beara Irish Whiskey, pouring a little into each mug and proposing a toast to the Clann.

The “craic”, as the Irish call it (stories, jokes and laughs), continued into the late night hours.

 

Making Our Own

Sunday morning, the group screen printed t-shirts with the Béara Clann logo.  Each member had brought with them the shirts they wanted printed.  Kingdom Bear set up a station in the shelter area to do the printing.  As mentioned earlier, he’s a veteran of the printing industry, so he volunteered to man the screen printing station.  Brayvy Bear, always eager to help, stepped up to assist him.  The end result was beautiful, each member going home with a freshly printed Béara souvenir t-shirt.

After printing t-shirts, Poppa J Bear hosted a livestream for Instagram.  The stream included a tour of the camp site and short interviews with several of the folk.  It was a great way to capture and showcase the energy of the trip.

Next, everyone gathered in front of the shelter for a group photo.  ConspiraBee Bear, an avid photographer who had been photographing the entire weekend of events captured the group photo of us.

 

Further Exploration

Some members packed up to head home after the group photo.  The remaining members embarked on an expedition to see a famous secluded waterfall and lake not far from where we were situated.

The scenery at this location was epic, like something you would see on a postcard.  Passing through fields of sheep, you encounter the waterfall.  After a few photos were taken there, we proceeded to trek up the steep trail towards the lake.  At the lake, several in the party decided to again take a dip in the water.  The Buzz Wrecker Bear, Rua Bear, The Paddy Glassman Bear, Eire Bear and Defender Bear’s girlfriend all went for a swim, those brave souls.

Once back at camp, the men set up a friendly axe throwing competition.  Logs were stacked for a target and the each man took turns throwing the axe.  Much fun was had, so much so that axe throwing will be a featured event at all future camp trips.

 

Onward to Béara!

That night, as the rain had ended, we all gathered round the fire again.  Future plans were discussed, including another camping trip, as well as the proposed formation of the Beartarian Horticultural Society.

The common thread that tied this weekend camp trip together was teamwork and community building.  Each member of the Clann lending a hand to help another.

It was so good to see everyone get along so well, to see our children playing together in nature.  To watch the initially hesitant and wary wives and girlfriends go from polite conversation to genuine warmth and good natured joking, now eager to be a part of this wonderful group.  This is what community building is all about.

The friendships formed, friendships reinforced and memories made at this July camp trip will last a lifetime.  We, the Béara Clann of Irish Unbearables, are a young group, still growing and learning as we go, yet we show much promise of big things to come in the future!

On Monday morning, it was decided that we would all meet here again for the second weekend of August.

To be continued…

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Children Stories

In Search of Sacha: Review

Book review by Van Allen Bear on the book In Search of Sacha, by Manuel Guzman from Lolo’s art.

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Recently I had read a book by a member of the community that was quite an enjoyable read. Many of you may know the book already, but for those like me who have read it for the first time: here is my first impressions and review.

For what I have come to understand, the author made a point to write the story in such a way that the reader is encouraged to take one, two, or three times to read through and each time draw new connections between the characters and their quest. If you haven’t made it through the book already then I won’t reveal too much information about the story as to do you a disservice. The summary is as follows:

“A fully painted 80 page fantasy storybook about loving parents searching for their son in a dark forest. They are Elysia and Amar, guardians of the mountains and of Sacha. They contain a pure light within them which they have passed on to their son and can only hope it will protect him during his coming of age trials. In Search of Sacha is written and designed for all ages. Young adults as well as children and parents will find something to love from this ethereal fairy tale.” – Manuel Guzman

(more…)

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Word From The North

Beetle in the Oakwood

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Little Bear Woodshop and I had reached an agreement, of sorts, where I send him proper currency accompanied with materials and he would use his facility to craft a pair of knives. What materials, you ask? I asked myself the same thing… If there was a knife you were going to carry with you all the time, what materials would you use? Naturally I am inclined to choose wood blanks, so I decided to take a saw to a few types of wood that were available nearby, which ended up being: mesquite, Spanish oak, cedar, and a local contact provided me with a few planks of Texan Pecan.

A fine blank, no less

So, this was going to be quite easy, I merely send the wood to the craftsman and bark some orders. Once the materials are in his hands, then he’s charged with making my cutlery. However, once showing pictures of my loot to the woodworker, I was informed that the bark had to be removed prior to both shipping and crafting. Naturally, I realized that I only had a few hours to de-bark the wood with a rotary table saw on hand. I set to it with my glasses on and table saw whirring in the garage.

The wood had been dry for quite a while, and I ran it sideways to grind off all the bark, strip by strip by strip. Curious, were these markings on the exposed hardwood beneath… what were they? Ovular and they seemed to be made of softer wood, they didn’t look to me as being natural. I began cutting the wood across the diameter of the trunk when out popped a beetle the size of my thumbnail. I was fooled, thinking this wood was in tip-top shape!

“Good Heavens, what on earth is this beetle doing in my oakwood?! What corruption is this?”

surprised man, sawing wood, circa 2020

Confused and surprised, I made more and more cuts for coasters. Lo’ and behold, there was another beetle that felt the sting of my rotary saw, and unfortunately had to take a very very long nap in the trashcan. The rest of the wood was untouched, for there were different cuts from different trees. Only some interesting ant-made markings marred the surfaces or the interiors of the other hardwoods.

As they were shipped out to and received by the man whom fabricates knives and things made from wood for a living, they were met with acclaim. The mesquite shall be turned into ladles, Spanish oak into spatulas, cedar into spoons, and a few planks of Texan Pecan shaped into Idaho State cutting boards. There are things to learn from this endeavor: never judge a cut of wood by it’s bark. It’s not that you shouldn’t trust things unseen, but be prepared to slice up a couple beetles or so through your endeavors for there very well could be all sorts of insects lurking just beneath the surface.

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